Cake Wrecks
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Latest posts
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A Day In The Life
Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes . Jen even has a green dress. (But not…
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Sunday Sweets: Spooky Elegant Halloween Cakes
It's the most wonderful time of the year, cake lovers: that blessedly spooky season when we can shop for discounted Halloween and Christmas decorations all at the same time. I know, Halloween was technically yesterday, but we can still glam it up with spooky sweet wedding cakes!…
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Be Afraid. Be VERY Afraid.
And now… An entire post of Halloween puns! That's right, my friends. Brace yourself... for the pain . *** What do you call trendy ghost detectives? "In" specters. Why did the coven mess up the words to their potion? They couldn't tell which witch was spelling which. What do you…
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Back Off, Man. I'm A Baker.
Are you bothered by strange noises in the middle of the night? Plus rampant rodent droppings? Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement, attic, or bakery? "You guys, I have a feeling there's something really creepy below us..." "SEE?!" Have you or any of your family…
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The 10 Stages Of Wrecky Trick-Or-Treating
The 10 Stages Of Handing Out Candy To Trick-Or-Treaters As Illustrated With Halloween Cake Wrecks Stage 1: "AWWWWW lookit the cute costumes on all the cute bebies! CANDY FOR EVERYONE." Stage 2: "Wow there are a lot of you." Stage 3: "A 5-year-old Deadpool just kicked me but this…
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Come For The Hippo, Stay For The Barbarian Cream
Guys, if you ever want a 3D sculpted cake like this: ...and your baker claims she can make a cupcake cake (patooie!) look just like it, DO NOT BELIEVE HER. On the plus side, I hear hippo skin rugs are all the rage now in child therapy sessions. *** They asked for a book cake of…
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A Failure To Communicate, Vol. 243
I like how the only thing legible is the one word NOT supposed to be there: Erin K. wanted her daughter's cake to be oriented vertically, or portrait-style, but the baker wasn't getting it. "You know, the long way?" *headdesk* When you want a big 75, NOT a "big 75." Can I quote…
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Sunday Sweets: Halloween Cuties!
Yassss , it's Halloween cake time! I look forward to these all year! I like to split my favorite spooky sweets into two categories: cute and creepy. And this week we are all about the cute: (By Meng Jo Fong in Malaysia) Who knew a stitched together monster could have such…
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One Line Horror Stories
I always liked the idea of fitting as much story into as few words as possible, so let's see if BAKERS can scare us in, say, 10 words or less. Eh? BEGIN. "You know, most of that is technically edible." (It's the ones that are true that are the most terrifying.) "What…
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Greeeeeeeaaaaaat
It's time once again to educate our sarcasm-impaired brothers and sisters. That's right! It's... Sarcasm Awareness Month! How does that make you feel? Ladies and gentlemen, sarcasm! And that brings us to our first lesson: lack of punctuation. You may remember one of the classic…
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My Friend The Witch Baker Has A Way With Words
I told the witch baker I was in love with you And then the witch baker, he told me what to do He told me.. Ting! Tang! WALLA WALLA BING BANG. Ting... ...Tang? Walla Walla Bing Bang! Thanks to Misty B., Jenny W., Kayleigh S., Anony M., Susie M., Denis S., Carmen N., Bonny B.,…
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Is That A Baby In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Kids today, with all their weird hobbies: (PS - Oh! Hey! Think this is Isabella?) ***** Ariel's company wanted their vision statement written on a cake, but made the rookie mistake of e-mailing a cellphone photo of their office wall plaque as a reference. [shaking head] Tsk tsk,…
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The Trouble With Scribbles
Cakes, the final affront here. These are the continuing ravages of the Bakeshop Wrecksurprise. Cakeman's Log: The shop is back to normal now, after a mysterious ailment afflicted my crew. It started when we were accidentally exposed to corigrAtUIAt ions. Maybe the big sign…
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Sunday Sweets: Kids Cartoons!
Kids' shows get some of the cutest cakes, you guys. I don't even have kids, and I had a blast looking for these! Just look at this adorable Doc McStuffins cake: [By Valentina Pollicino in Italy] Squee! When I Googled the most popular kids' shows of 2018, I was amazed to see…
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When Mickey Mouse Turns Into A Real Bozo
Jessie ordered this cute kitty design from her bakery's book: Her bakery ran out of the printed paper, though, and then I guess also people who know how to decorate cakes: Yowch. And I don't think that candle placement is helping any, Jessie. Do you have any large house plants…
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Going Through A Rough Patch
It's the quintessential symbol of Halloween: the Jack-O-Lantern. Fortunately, it's also one of the easiest designs for a baker to make. Just take one round cake, ice it in orange, add a cartoony face, and...voilá! AAAEEIII!! Er. Heh, sorry. Let's try that again. Voila!…
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PLAY OF THE (BAKERY) GAME
John and I play a lot of video games because we make excellent life choices, and last night was a particularly Jen kind of game. I was completely lost, fumbling around and stuck on a wall, muttering "Where am I? What room is this? WHAT IS HAPPENING?" - all in a game I've been…
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These Vintage Birthday Cakes Are Awesomely Bad
Were the good ol' days of cake decorating REALLY better? And more importantly, can Jen find an excuse to post some of the rad vintage birthday cakes you guys have been sending in? Let's find out, with... EPIC CAKE BATTLES OF HISTORY!! THEN: I pity the fool who doesn't recognize…
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The Spoopy Problem With October Birthdays
A few of you remarked on my use of the word "spoopy" on Epbot , so I'd just like to point out that's totally a thing people say and/or write on cakes: See? However. Like all fun new lingo we youngin's use [WHAT I'M YOUNG], this may confuse some of the less hip, less "with it,"…
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Sunday Sweets: Rich & Rustic Autumn Jewels
Orange is my favorite color, so I am ALL about Fall, y'all. It's not just the warm colors, though; I love rich jewel tones and gleaming metallics: [By Arte & Sabor in Costa Rica] Not to mention the natural touches of tree bark and dried leaves: [By Bellaria Cake Design in the…