The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine! - Proverbs 17:22a
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Latest posts
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Kettle of Hawks
Longtime birders know that some of the terms used to describe bird groups can be highly unusual. William Malarkey of Pottsville, Pennsylvania submitted this list, which includes 15 authentic terms... and five he made up just for fun. Can you tell which are which? William…
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Jesus in the Boonies
A few months back I was taking my daughter to play with some friends whose mother is a good friend of mine. I told my daughter they lived in the boonies, since it takes a while to get there. On the way she piped up and asked, "Mommy, can Jesus see me at Breana and Austin's house…
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The Perfect Witch Accessory
A mother took her daughter shopping for a witch outfit to wear at her school Halloween parade. They hunted in several shops for an important accessory, namely an old-fashioned straw broom with a crooked tree-branch handle. Finally, they found one that was just right. "See?" she…
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If I Did Not Have Dogs
- I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety. - My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated. - All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of dog hair. - When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through dog bodies who…
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Critter Quiz
What is a mosquito's favorite sport? Skin diving. How do you start a firefly race? On your mark, get set, glow. Which ant is an army officer? Sergeant. What goes tick-tock croak, tick-tock croak? A watch frog. Which bug gobbles up trash? The litterbug. What famous baseball…
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Why Dogs Have So Many Friends
Dogs lick you because they love you. Cats lick you because you had chicken for dinner. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers…
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Top Ten Rejected Slogans For Firestone Tires
10. "Safer than a Russian sub" 9. "The perfect gift for your mother-in-law" 8. "Because there's a lot riding on your lawsuit" 7. "Better than driving around on your axles, right?" 6. "Pop a set on your car today" 5. "C'mon, did you really expect good tires on a new Ford?" 4.…
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Funny Quotes - Twins, Women, Time
"It takes time to raise children. I know, I have two myself. That's plenty. Mine are twins, though. Both of them. They're awfully cute. I can't think of their names. They don't come when I call them anyway." - Victor Borge If I plant sesame seeds, will I be able to grow…
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What About Your Son?
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?" "Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists…
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Things No One Tells New Parents
I consider myself an older and wiser parent because I am no longer a 'newbie' still getting sucked in by marketing that claims I need a Diaper Genie to be a good mommy. Therefore, I feel qualified to look back on those early days of parenting and draw up a checklist of things…
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Newspapers and Reality
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. - A. J. Liebling Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech during 1952 Presidential Campaign: I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my (x political party) friends... that if they will stop telling lies…
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Funny Quotes
Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them. - Paul Valery, Tel Quel 2 (1943) Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed. - Elbert…